


Kismet

by brightly_lit



Category: Cardcaptor Sakura, Natsume Yuujinchou | Natsume's Book of Friends
Genre: Confusion, Doubt, Friendship, Gen, Help, Magic, Mentors, Middle School, Self-Doubt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-25
Updated: 2018-08-25
Packaged: 2019-07-02 05:00:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,680
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15789447
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/brightly_lit/pseuds/brightly_lit
Summary: When a weird new kid named Natsume comes to Touya's middle school, Touya discovers to his dismay that they have a lot in common.  Troubled, confused, hostile Natsume has no idea how to deal with his countless problems, but maybe Touya can point him in the right direction.





	Kismet

**Author's Note:**

> Rewatching the wonderful Cardcaptor Sakura, it occurred to me Touya and Natsume have some intriguing similarities I wanted to explore in a fic. 
> 
> From Cardcaptor Sakura particularly, I was struck by the scene with the Mirror card, where Touya knows it's not Sakura yet follows it and even lets it hurt him, nevertheless helping it in a way that was to me quite reminiscent of Natsume. 
> 
> I set it when Touya's in middle school, between when he and Mizuki were close and when Yukito arrived, and when Natsume's in middle school, too, some time before he goes to live with Touko and Shigeru. I figured middle school would probably have been the worst time of all for Natsume--that he would have had all the confusion and anger of his childhood, now with added teen angst, more confused and bewildered than ever, and more damaged from being passed from family to family. Something must have happened to make him decide to try to help yokai instead of always pushing them away, so I wanted to explore one possibility of how that could have happened.
> 
> These are two of my favorite, favorite animes. I hope you enjoy the fic!

Touya made sure to get to the breakfast table before Sakura so he could call her a kaiju and see her ever-hilarious response. Their dad was almost done making the meal and their lunch bento boxes. He gave Touya a pleasant smile when he arrived in the kitchen, but he paused in his cooking to address him seriously. This was unusual.

“Touya-kun, there’s a new boy at your middle school. Have you considered inviting him over?”

He certainly had not. The new kid was weird, hostile, and wildly unpopular. Thin and unkempt, he looked like he hadn’t had a haircut in a year or more. But for all of Father’s gentleness, this was not a request.

“Sure,” said Touya, since he didn’t really have a choice. “But, um ... why?” he couldn’t help but ask.

“I work with his uncle. He’s recently taken the boy in. It seems he’s having a hard time looking after a child, since he’s never had any of his own. I thought maybe we could help out a little.”

Yeah, seemed like there wasn’t a whole lot of ‘looking after’ getting done. “I’ll ask him today,” Touya promised, then he heard the tell-tale sound of Sakura’s feet pounding the wood floors as she ran down the stairs, late for breakfast, just like every morning. He grinned wickedly.

 

When Father arrived home with a bag full of groceries, prepared to make a meal for a guest, he looked over the shoes in the entryway, bewildered, seeing only family members’ shoes. He looked at Touya, who shrugged. “He wouldn’t come.”

Actually, the new kid--Natsume--looked outraged at the request, burst out “Leave me alone!,” and ran off to sit by himself on the outside of the fence, eating lunch alone, just like always.

Father looked regretful, but he seemed to understand. “Hm. It’s a shame,” was all he said.

 

Touya would never have thought about the new kid if Father hadn’t brought him up. It seemed like he wasn’t going to be here long. The kid sure didn’t seem to think he would be, making no attempt to make friends or even to do particularly well in school, staring out the window most of the time, randomly flinching at things he saw out there, sometimes accompanied by an embarrassing exclamation. Middle school wasn’t the most dignified of times for anyone, even Touya, but the new kid was failing at pretty much everything. Even the very nice teacher didn’t like him ... except Touya couldn’t help feeling like if Mizuki-sensei were still here, she’d have liked him just fine.

Mizuki-sensei-- Kaho. How he missed her. He couldn’t believe it when she left him. He clung to the words she uttered on their final night together: “Someone new will come and take my place in your life. You won’t be lonely for long.” Kaho didn’t believe in coincidence. She believed everything happened for a reason. Touya tended to agree. 

So it irked him that everything about this Natsume was forcing itself upon his awareness as much as he’d like to go on pretending he didn’t exist. People kept remarking on similarities between them. Girls giggled that they were both good-looking but it seemed irrelevant to them. When someone shared a rumor that Natsume’s parents were dead, people noted in hushed tones, thinking Touya couldn’t hear, how Touya, too, had lost his mother at a young age. Touya himself noticed that Natsume was the only other person in their class who apparently preferred not using honorifics wherever possible.

The biggest similarity of all came one day in gym when they were all standing outside, listening to the gym teacher give them instructions for the soccer game they were about to play. Something huge flew overhead--a real kaiju, hardly the first Touya had ever seen--and Touya instinctively ducked before recovering and trying to pass it off as suddenly ducking to brush a bug off his leg, realizing it was another one of those things only he could see and he probably looked like a freak suddenly trying to hit the deck ... except Natsume ducked, too. 

Their eyes met a long moment. Natsume looked bewildered, freaked out, deeply troubled--and pushed through the crowd of students to stand at the far edge of the group from where Touya was.

Touya didn’t let him escape this time. He found him after school, hurrying toward his new home as soon as he finished changing his shoes by his locker. “Oi!” Touya called after him. Natsume hunched, seeming to know it was he Touya was shouting for, and walked faster. “OI!” Touya yelled, running to catch up. When Natsume still wouldn’t stop even once they were abreast, Touya dared grab his arm.

Sure enough, Natsume jumped back, flinging his hand away. “Leave me alone! I know what you are now.”

Uh-oh. Probably one of those rude things Sakura called him. How had he figured out so quickly that Touya had an ornery streak? Touya was as polite as he could manage at school. But then Natsume whispered, “Yokai.” 

Touya couldn’t help the short laugh that burst out of him. “What, a yokai, going to school, playing on sports teams?”

Natsume tossed his head. “I’ve seen it before,” he said haughtily, a hint of uncertainty creeping into his expression.

“I’m not a yokai,” Touya told him bluntly. “I can just see them. Ghosts, too. Spirits. Pretty much anything that no one else can see. ... Except you.”

Natsume set his expression. “They don’t exist,” he informed him rotely, like someone--recently--had drilled this notion into his head.

“Except that that’s what you thought I was.”

“Leave me alone!” Natsume cried, rushing off--only then an actual yokai jumped out into his path, cackling. 

Natsume screamed and fell back--the worst way to deal with this kind of yokai, who thrived on your fear. Touya stepped between them. “What do you want?” he demanded of it. He could feel Natsume staring up at him in shock.

“To eat you!” the yokai roared.

“You couldn’t fit me in your mouth,” Touya retorted. That one before the soccer game today, though--good thing that one hadn’t seemed to be looking for a meal.

“In pieces then,” the yokai grinned.

“You obviously want something from him,” Touya said impatiently as Natsume scrambled to his feet and hunkered behind Touya. “What is it?”

The yokai, seeming to realize Touya was not going to allow any more shenanigans, finally admitted, “I sense magic in that one. I thought--I thought maybe he could free my friend.”

“Why?” Touya asked suspiciously. “What happened to it?”

“He fell into a trap laid by an exorcist long ago--mean exorcist! He laid traps all around the village, to catch any yokai, even the pretty nice ones like me!”

Touya snorted. He felt Natsume draw near, right behind him--which meant that for the first time, he trusted Touya--more than any other creature, anyway--human or yokai. “Yeah, you’re super nice,” Touya said sardonically.

“I wasn’t really going to eat you!” it protested. “It’s just so fun to torment him-- anyway,” it interrupted itself quickly, “the exorcist died long ago so he can’t undo his traps. No one can, except those as powerful as he was, and I thought--I thought maybe this boy could do it.”

Touya thought a moment. “Okay,” he said, and followed where the yokai eagerly led. 

Natsume didn’t know up from down, Touya realized as Natsume followed, too. Natsume didn’t know whether yokai were real or not, whether humans were yokai in disguise, whether to trust or run. He didn’t know what to do, but Touya seemed to, so he followed.

“Why did you say yes?!” Natsume hissed, disbelieving.

“Because ... everything happens for a reason,” he muttered.

“He’s probably leading us into a trap so he can eat us!”

“I don’t think so,” Touya said. Humans and yokai really weren’t that different. You could sense the nature of someone’s intentions if you just paid close attention. “It seems like it’s really worried about its friend, and sometimes, if you help them out ....” Kaho was otherworldly, and though she never said so, Touya knew she consorted with beings who weren’t human, with all kinds of things ... and she considered them as worthy of compassion and help as anyone else. Different people had different ways of expressing themselves, but if you listened long enough, you could figure out what they were really trying to say. Touya had funny ways of expressing himself, after all, and he always hoped the people he loved most might someday figure out that he was really trying to tell them how much they meant to him.

“But--have they ever hurt you??”

“Yes.”

Natsume was bewildered. “And you just ... let them?!”

“If they’re that much more powerful than you, there’s nothing you can do to stop them, anyway.”

Natsume was shaken, that was plain, but they’d already arrived at this ‘trap’ the yokai spoke of, only it just looked to Touya like a board nailed over a hollow opening in a tree. The yokai was carrying on about how the board had held his friend prisoner for years, maybe decades (he seemed to have lost track of how long it had been some time ago).

Touya yanked on the board, but it wouldn’t budge. He looked closely at it. There were no nails visible. “Glue, maybe?” he wondered aloud, but then Natsume, again just following Touya’s lead, pulled on the board, too ... and it came away with ease. Touya raised an eyebrow. The board had been so solidly stuck in place, Touya had felt sure nothing save heavy machinery could have moved it. 

A yokai flew out of the hollow and embraced its friend. From their frenzied conversation, catching each other up on each’s side of the story, it seemed what the yokai had been telling them was entirely true.

It finally had a thought to spare for the humans. “This one--this is the one who freed you!” it told its friend excitedly. “Oh, thank you, thank you!,” it exclaimed. “I really won’t eat you after all, I swear! I’ll tell every other yokai I know not to, either--except the big, scary ones, of course.”

“Great,” Natsume grumbled, and shot Touya a look. “Thanks a lot,” he growled, and hurried off toward home.

 

Touya gave him space the next day at school, since every time Touya glanced in his direction, Natsume was glowering at him. Yet Touya left school at the same time he did, just in case he might feel like talking about it ... and thus was near when that yokai accosted him yet again. At least this time Natsume stood his ground. “What do you want!” he shouted, his voice quavering.

“Thank you for saving my friend! Thank you so much! I brought you a gift! You humans like this kind of thing, right? A human once owned this.” It was an old, beat-up lucky cat sculpture, white, orange, and black, one paw raised.

“I don’t want your dirty trash--” Natsume burst out, before Touya stepped in and took it from the yokai.

“Thank you,” Touya said solemnly.

The yokai beamed at them both before scampering off into the underbrush. Touya looked the sculpture over. It really didn’t look useful, but ... everything happens for a reason. “Why did you take it?!” Natsume demanded. “Maybe he poisoned it, or--or booby-trapped it or something!”

“No. It’s just trying to square things with you. It tried hard not to, but it couldn’t help feeling like it owed you something. If you really want them to leave you alone, maybe you should learn to accept their gifts, as well as their demands. Everyone ... everyone has something to offer.”

“Not me,” Natsume grumbled.

“Yeah,” said Touya, “even you.”

 

One day a month later, after not exchanging another word in all the days since that last conversation, Natsume stopped Touya in the hall. He seemed as awkward as ever. The kid really never knew what to say. “I don’t know if you care, but ... I thought you’re the one-- that maybe I should tell you ... I’m leaving now.”

Touya raised his eyebrows. So soon? Jeez, the poor kid really never got to stay in one place, did he? “Where are you going?”

“Some friends of my aunt and uncle say they have room at their house. They live in the country. I think they need someone to help harvest the fields. So ....”

Touya looked down. People thought he had it so rough, having lost his mother when he was young, but this kid ... he lost everything, and just kept losing more. “Sorry to hear that.”

“Thanks for what you ... thanks. I actually ... kind of like that lucky cat. I don’t have a lot of stuff. It’s nice to look at it on my shelf.”

Touya smiled a little. “Glad to hear it.”

“I’m gonna ... try to do things a little differently now. With the yokai.” He looked up at Touya anxiously, hoping for approval.

Touya wasn’t sure what showed on his face--nothing much ever did, to hear other people tell it--but he nodded. “Good.”

“I didn’t know what to do about them--about a lot of things--but ... maybe I do now.”

Touya nodded again. There was a shift in Natsume’s energy--a good one.

“So they’re--they’re real?” Natsume seemed unable to help but ask incredulously.

Touya grinned. “They’re real.”

“And I’m ... real, too?”

Touya grinned wickedly for a second. He could have a lot of fun with this. But he pulled himself together and made himself say the right thing. “You’re real.”

“And you ...?” Natsume almost whispered. “You ... you’re really human?”

“No guarantees about that.” He just couldn’t resist. “But you know ... not everything is trying to hurt you, human or not. I have a very good friend who’d tell you challenges are just gifts in disguise.” Kaho said that their last night together, too, but maybe she was just trying to make him feel better about the agony of their parting.

Natsume looked scared, but he squared his shoulders and nodded seriously. “Hai,” he said formally, and bowed a little, like Touya was a teacher giving him important instruction. “Arigato, sensei.”

“I’m no sensei,” Touya corrected immediately. The kid sure could use one, though. “Good luck. Maybe you better keep that lucky cat close.”

Natsume nodded, too somberly. “I will.”

“I hope you ... find your place someday.”

Natsume nodded, those eyes that seemed to see through everything. “You, too. I feel like you’re waiting for someone ....” Touya stopped breathing. It had occurred to him, these past weeks, that if Natsume stuck around, maybe he was the person Kaho promised would replace her in his life, but clearly it wasn’t to be. He remembered Natsume’s display of vast, untapped magic, and listened closely to his words, because Kaho was wrong; he was terribly lonely, and it seemed like it had been terribly long already. “And I feel like he’s ... already here.” Natsume’s eyes lifted and came to rest on a boy who had arrived at their school just that week, with colorless hair and big glasses. Seeing them looking at him, the new boy tilted his head and gave a friendly wave.

Touya looked at the new kid, and felt something ... something like what Kaho made him feel. “Yeah?” he asked interestedly.

Natsume smiled, for the first time with compassion, even generosity, rather than that abiding fury and rejection he’d brought with him. It was out of place, Touya couldn’t help but think. Someone who’d lost so much shouldn’t be the one who had to give even more. There was no new friend waiting for him. Touya looked at him, and he felt like for the first time, Natsume felt it, the kindness underneath Touya’s ornery exterior. 

They smiled at each other. Natsume turned to go, but this time, he didn’t run but walked steadily into whatever future awaited him. Touya turned and saw the new kid, and walked likewise into his own.


End file.
